How to seduce a friend who has a boyfriend and otherwise wouldn't sleep with you.
So, you’re in love with one of your friends, but she has a boyfriend and probably wouldn’t have sex with you anyway.
What you will need: 1 x knife, 1 x ring, access to a sunbed, the ability to grow a beard.
…
Step 8: When she asks you what’s happened you should ignore her questions. Instead you must act confused and ask the date. If it’s September 15th she will say ‘September 15th’ to which you must reply ‘No, what year is it?’
Step 9: Upon hearing the year say the words ‘It worked.’ Pretend to lose consciousness again for a few seconds, implying that whatever it is that has worked took a great effort.
Step 10: If your friend is a curious person she will probably ask ‘What worked?’, even if she doesn’t ask this question it is important that you now say the words ‘(Insert Friend’s Name), I’m from the future’ in your most deadpan voice.
Step 11: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you’ve come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place.…
(via kottke)
This is amazing, even though I could tell after about two steps that Terminator was the impetus for this genius little plan. The “possible outcomes” at the end are hilarious, and the best part is, it’s not TOTALLY crazy to imagine this working if done right and to the right (read: an incredibly naive) girl.
