January 2009
26 posts
davidbedard:
alexbeaudet:
The glim-dropper requires several accomplices, one of whom must be a one-eyed man. One grifter goes into a store and pretends he has lost his glass eye. Everyone looks around, but the eye cannot be found. He declares that he will pay a thousand-dollar reward for the return of his eye, leaving contact information. The next day, an accomplice enters the store and...
I Love You All
mittenstategirl:
dearoldlove:
I say “I love you” to people all of the time now, to make that time I said it to you mean less.
OUCH.
Just one of the countless examples of how hilarious it is to have a little brother:
Joseph: “Robbie, are you coming to my concert tonight?”
Me: “What time is it?”
Joseph: “It’s at 6:30.”
Me: “I don’t think so, buddy. I have to work and then go to the gym.”
Joseph: “But you have enough muscles already!”
Me:...
Watchalexbeaudet:
Kanye West is a crazy person.
(via joshmohrer)
Alex, thank you so much for posting this video. There are no words to describe Kanye…just check out the look in his eyes at the beginning before you press play.
“It feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling...”
– Michael Scott
“I want everybody to take a look to their left. Now I want everybody to take a...”
– Michael Scott
““The female orgasm is the focus of much research because it appears to...”
– Study: Wealthy men give women more orgasms (via alexbeaudet)
“now i’m singing, ‘baby don’t worry,
cause now i got your...”
– Bright Eyes - Bowl of Oranges
This is my all-time favorite song ever.
The Miracle Fruit, a Tease for the Taste Buds -... →
alexbeaudet:
markn:
implodr:
Had some of this tonight. Really amazing!
Incredible. I’d love to try this.
Yes, please.
Dude these sound crazy…it would be so fun if people didn’t know you had eaten one and you were just walking around munching on lemons.
entourage
Ari: What the fuck are we doing here, man? I’m on Atkins, I need protein!
Fiona: Aw come on, there’s plenty of protein in mong beans.
Ari: No, no, no, I’m talking about real protein. You know, like man protein, you know, from the flesh of slaugtered animals. I want to have war paint on, I want blood dripping, that’s what I need.
“You’re the finest thing that I’ve done,
The hurricane I’ll never outrun”
-The Hush Sound
This is why I want to be a Lawyer →
Even though I would hope the AG of Utah would have more important things to worry about - like, for example, making it legal for me to have multiple wives - you gotta love where his heart’s at with this one. There are a lot of evils in the world: murder, poverty, and Bob Saget come to mind…but every night I pray that my children will never have to live in a world without a college...
I Would Have Followed You Into The Dark, But Ben... →
I’ve been on a self-imposed suicide alert since my friend told me this news. The love of my life is engaged. And even though in the last 72 hours I’ve come to the painful conclusion that my love will go unrequited for the rest of my life and that I am destined to be alone forever, I’m happy that Ben Gibbard is the lucky guy on the other end. After listening to his music for a...
Ringing in the new year...with kidney stones!
Hooray for kidney stones! The day after Christmas, my kidney stones started to flare up again. At 22, it’s kind of depressing that this is already my second bout with such an inconvenient, excruciatingly painful, and totally harmless health problem, which apparently is quite hereditary. However, as an eternally glass-half-full kind of person, I believe it’s my duty to find the good...